{"id":13289,"date":"2021-03-20T06:00:29","date_gmt":"2021-03-20T06:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/?p=13289"},"modified":"2021-03-20T13:17:35","modified_gmt":"2021-03-20T13:17:35","slug":"tertulia-pandemica","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/?p=13289","title":{"rendered":"Tertulia pand\u00e9mica"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"_5454651_37c6f1a1\"<\/a>Domingo Regueira.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>Na farmacia, con bancos para os que esperan, parolan catro clientas.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013<\/span><\/span>Las m\u00edas son como estas \u2013<\/i><\/span><\/span>apuntando co dedo na revista HOLA\u2013<\/span><\/span>, <\/i><\/span><\/span>son las mejores<\/i><\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013A<\/span><\/span>y si, chica<\/i><\/span><\/span> \u2013<\/i><\/span><\/span>di a veci\u00f1a co dedo nas gafas\u2013, <\/span><\/span>son las \u201cFFP2\u201d, las mismas que tengo yo<\/i><\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013<\/span><\/span>Efectivamente, son las que usan los cirujanos para operar. Yo las ped\u00ed a Amazon. Cuantas m\u00e1s compres, m\u00e1s baratas te salen, pues por unidad cuestan a 333 leandras<\/i><\/span><\/span> \u2013<\/i><\/span><\/span>engade a terceira pola esquerda. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Y t\u00fa, \u00bfcu\u00e1les usas?<\/i><\/span><\/span> \u2013preg\u00fantanlle a do HOLA \u00e1 do extremo.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013Eu uso a familiar e, cando est\u00e1 sucia, lav\u00e1mola, e ala! Po\u00f1\u00e9mola s\u00f3 para que non nos multen, e o argueiro quit\u00e1molo sen ela.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013<\/span><\/span>Hay mujer, pues para el arguero la deber\u00edas usar<\/i><\/span><\/span> \u00a1C<\/span><\/span>on lo que cheira el metano!<\/i><\/span><\/span>\u2013\u2013intercede a do HOLA.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013Non facer caso! O metano da corte non fai dano pois, se as\u00ed fose, as vacas estar\u00edan todas mortas. E os cirurxi\u00e1ns, se as po\u00f1en, \u00e9 para non esbirrarlles nas tripas aos doentes, non \u00e9 para protexerse de ning\u00fan virus \u2013cont\u00e9stalle a rural, con asilvestrada vehemencia.<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span> \u2013<\/span><\/span>Hay mujer, no digas que no protegen!<\/i><\/span><\/span> \u2013obx\u00e9ctalle a do HOLA.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013Pois eu coido que non protexen nada; daquela, os \u201cchaneles\u201d v\u00e1nsevos perder no tocador. A min g\u00fastame ulir o aire do campo sobre todo na primavera, os olores da herba-lu\u00edsa, da menta, do azar, da ruda… (e entoando, segue). G\u00fastame o olor do pan, do caldo, e non vexades cando fago a fabada coa s\u00faa <\/span><\/span>p<\/i><\/span><\/span>anceti\u00f1a<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/span> o seu chourici\u00f1o, o <\/span><\/span>alli\u00f1o<\/i><\/span><\/span> a folli\u00f1a de loureiro e as pataqui\u00f1as picadas; aquel <\/span><\/span>ulidi\u00f1o<\/i><\/span><\/span> ata lle abre o apetito aos da UCI. Ag\u00e1s diso, o malo son as dixesti\u00f3ns. Tes que sa\u00edr da casa, filla! Porque, se non, fraqueas! Ata as avela\u00ed\u00f1as caen do teito. Son as ciclox\u00e9neses explosivas de corpo humano que tolean por oxixenarse, e se non lles d\u00e1s sa\u00edda podes estoupar coma unha <\/span><\/span>breba<\/i><\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013<\/span><\/span>Hay mujer, mucho te extiendes<\/i><\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013Isto non \u00e9 nada pois, antes de sa\u00edr, apeteceume unha cunqui\u00f1a de feixoada con aquel prebi\u00f1o cremoso que me soubo a gloria. E claro, agora estou penando as consecuencias… e estas dependentas non dan bulido.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013<\/span><\/span>Pero tranquila, mujer, deja de moverte tanto que ya nos va a tocar<\/i><\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013M\u00f3vome porque coas pr\u00e9sas puxen unha braga da mi\u00f1a filla e agora xa non a atopo; c\u00f3laseme para o fondo e vou rebentar se non consigo atrapala. Hai, hai! Parece que sae. Ata me ten enganchado nun labio. Hai, hai…! Sa\u00edu! <\/span><\/span>Diolopaghe<\/i><\/span><\/span>!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Pasa, un, dous, tres, catro e cinco: e nese intre, <\/span><\/span>tres <\/span><\/span>finolis<\/i><\/span><\/span> con aire <\/span><\/span>detectivesco<\/i><\/span><\/span> empezaron a mover a cabeza coma un periscopio. Unha delas solta:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013Qui\u00e9n fue!?<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A xente deixa as cousas no mostrador e enfilan a porta. Detr\u00e1s, empuxando, saen as mancebas cos dedos abertos buscando aire.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hortensia permaneceu no banco e, estirando o torso, dille \u00e1s da beirarr\u00faa: <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013E v\u00f3s sodes as da voceira de d\u00faas capas?, pois a mi\u00f1a f\u00edxena dun suxeitador e a\u00ednda te\u00f1o unha de reposto!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Na porta parec\u00eda que houbera un accidente e os coches aminoraban para… Pero axi\u00f1a sa\u00edan rinchando, subindo a <\/span><\/span>ventanilla<\/i><\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Domingo Regueira.\u00a0Na farmacia, con bancos para os que esperan, parolan catro clientas. \u2013Las m\u00edas son como estas \u2013apuntando co dedo na revista HOLA\u2013, son las mejores. \u2013Ay si, chica \u2013di a veci\u00f1a co dedo nas gafas\u2013<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[68,9],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13289"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13289"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13289\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13300,"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13289\/revisions\/13300"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}