{"id":14356,"date":"2022-03-07T06:00:46","date_gmt":"2022-03-07T06:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/?p=14356"},"modified":"2022-02-28T10:45:36","modified_gmt":"2022-02-28T10:45:36","slug":"pentagrama-de-excrecions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/?p=14356","title":{"rendered":"Pentagrama de excreci\u00f3ns"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/png-transparent-musical-note-graphy-musical-note-brown-photography-material.png\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-14357\" alt=\"png-transparent-musical-note-graphy-musical-note-brown-photography-material\" src=\"http:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/png-transparent-musical-note-graphy-musical-note-brown-photography-material-300x260.png\" width=\"300\" height=\"260\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/png-transparent-musical-note-graphy-musical-note-brown-photography-material-300x260.png 300w, https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/png-transparent-musical-note-graphy-musical-note-brown-photography-material-900x782.png 900w, https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/png-transparent-musical-note-graphy-musical-note-brown-photography-material.png 920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>Marina Losada Vicente.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>Cham\u00e1balles a atenci\u00f3n que cando Lu\u00eds \u00eda ao\u00a0 ba\u00f1o, tiraba da cisterna cada pouco. Para uns, significaba que se aburr\u00eda. Para outras, que non soportaba o seu propio cheiro.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Na cea de nadal, con copas de m\u00e1is, acabaron falando de cagadas e mexadas, e, dentro do desvar\u00edo, algu\u00e9n preguntou que pasaba coas feces do compa\u00f1eiro, se resultaban \u201cpega\u00f1entas de m\u00e1is\u201d para que necesitasen raci\u00f3n cu\u00e1drupla de auga.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">A explicaci\u00f3n \u00e9 ben sinxela: camuflaxe. Preme o bot\u00f3n para non expo\u00f1er a o\u00eddos alleos a sa\u00edda ao exterior das s\u00faas evacuaci\u00f3ns e o bater posterior contra a cubeta do v\u00e1ter.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">A cousa non quedou a\u00ed, aberta a espita. Lu\u00eds, que ten a mesa pegada \u00e1 porta do ba\u00f1o, declarou ser quen de po\u00f1er na escala musical, polos ru\u00eddos que escoita, inclu\u00edndo ventosidades, todas e cada unha das \u201csentadas\u201d da empresa no inodoro. Asegurou saber o tipo de defecaci\u00f3n polo son \u00a0do seu impacto, as\u00ed choque coa louza, as\u00ed caia directamente na auga. Explicou polo mi\u00fado as diferentes ondas sonoras producidas por un \u201ctorpedo compacto\u201d, unha \u201ccagada tipo aspersor\u201d, unha \u201cexcreci\u00f3n branda dilu\u00edda en l\u00edquido\u201d, etc.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Cada explicaci\u00f3n levantaba a gargallada xeral, mesmo noutras mesas. O compa\u00f1eiro acadou unha paleta de intensidades musicais propias do m\u00e1is experto compositor! Manti\u00f1a que cada persoa presente acompa\u00f1aba o empuxe cara ao exterior, do contido das s\u00faas tripas, de ruidi\u00f1os coa boca, agora aberta, agora pechada, pequenos xemidos, suspiros de alivio, aspiraci\u00f3ns fortes, ais! Uf!&#8230; de gozo por deixar a pesada carga. As risas eran contaxiosas, repito, \u00a0ata que empezou a po\u00f1er nomes das figuras musicais \u00e1s cagadas: Tamara, d\u00faas corcheas; Diana, media fusa; Xoel, unha redonda e media&#8230; sacando as cores mesmo \u00e1 xefa de recursos.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Marina Losada Vicente.\u00a0Cham\u00e1balles a atenci\u00f3n que cando Lu\u00eds \u00eda ao\u00a0 ba\u00f1o, tiraba da cisterna cada pouco. Para uns, significaba que se aburr\u00eda. Para outras, que non soportaba o seu propio cheiro. Na cea de nadal, con copas de m\u00e1is, acabaron falando de cagadas e mexadas, e, dentro do desvar\u00edo, algu\u00e9n preguntou que pasaba coas feces &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/?p=14356\" class=\"more-link\">Seguir lendo <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Pentagrama de excreci\u00f3ns<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[73,9],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14356"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14356"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14356\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14358,"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14356\/revisions\/14358"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14356"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14356"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cafebarbantia.barbantia.es\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14356"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}